Aren’t Ring Bearers and Flower Girls just the cutest little things you have ever seen? Or, perhaps they have been one of the bigger problems at a wedding you’ve attend? The truth is, when you are working with children, anything can happen. If you want children in your wedding, there are a couple of pointers that can help make them the adorable angels you picture them to be instead of tiny disasters.
First off, I highly recommend you choose children who are at least five years of age. I know folks may think that their two year old is very mature and can handle it – I’m telling you, five is the magic age – older is even better. Second, they definitely need to be at the rehearsal and you need to have someone they love and trust there with them. Allow their mother or favorite big sister escort them through the process at the rehearsal several times (perhaps have them come a little early to practice) with all the props they will be using and then let them try it alone. One of the things they should practice is what to do after they get to the end of the aisle and the Bride enters. I recommend that what they do is promptly go sit in the audience with that loved and trusted person who they practiced with. Children are simply not designed to stand still and quiet for the length of a ceremony. Don’t set them up for failure by expecting them to stay put and be fascinated by the vows and ring ceremony. They are much more likely to be fascinated by the flaming candelabras and head straight to them. Yikes!
Okay, so the day of the wedding comes, they’ve rehearsed, they know what to do. Now, you introduce an extra reward – something they will get after they do everything they are supposed to do. Something they could quietly play with would be a perfect option. Don’t dress them until they have to be dressed, then give them a big pep talk and see what happens. The most important thing is to remember that they may not do what you think they will…but as long as you can laugh about it and move on, it will be okay.
Last but not least, talk to their “go to” person about when it is time to just pack it in and remove them from the ceremony space. Trust me, if the children start to have a meltdown, don’t force it and just move on. Talk to the child’s caretaker about your concerns and boundaries so that there is no question the day of the wedding. You can still have them in pictures and enjoy the fact that at least you did your very best to include them! But hopefully if you follow these tips, you’ll have those cute little angels you were dreaming of.
Thank you Sweet Life Photography!