It can be a very difficult balancing act incorporating the “wants” of family members while planning a wedding. For example, it can be hard for a contemporary couple to integrate more “traditional” – and by traditional, I mean conservative – values and beliefs. The main issue I have dealt with relating to this is whether or not to have alcohol at the wedding reception. I’ve also had parents who didn’t believe that dancing should take place. Sure, you may be thinking, “This is our wedding and we’ll do what we want to do.” But if the conservative parents are contributing financially, their opinion should be considered. It is important that an engaged couple show respect to their families at this early stage to set a good foundation for your ongoing relationship. After all, you’ll be sharing celebrations for the rest of your life with these people so now’s the time to start compromising.
My suggestion for this particular example is actually pretty simple. Work with the “traditional” family to plan a daytime wedding ceremony and reception. Something simple but elegant – a church or perhaps an outdoor ceremony followed by desserts and coffee or a light brunch reception would be lovely. Then, you can have your closest friends (your Maid of Honor and Best Man would be nice choices), send an invitation to your “contemporary” friends for an after party that evening.  After all, if your friends plan it for you, how could you possibly say no? That would be rude! Only invite those who would enjoy partying the night away. It could be as uncomplicated as meeting at your favorite hangout/club/bar at a set time and everyone goes dutch – you could even buy the first round. Or, your friends may want to rent a private space complete with DJ, drinks and dancing. The important thing here is that everyone gets what they want and you don’t have to be the bad guys. Party on!